Derren Brown admits he is a turd burglar

Funny story written by cheesehoven

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

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Top TV illusionist Derren Brown, 37, has stunned his many fans by revealing his secret fetish - stealing dog turds from the back gardens of his wealthy friends.

Brown told a reporter from The Sun he first acquired his habit as a boy, when he was dared to do it by a school mate.

"It was one of those things you do as a kid." said the controversial star "but I found everything about it exciting. Climbing the fence, picking up doo doo...I really couldn't get enough of it."

Brown says he managed to kick his obsession for many years but rediscovered after successful shows such as Messiah and Russian Roulette.

"I think I needed to maintain the same high. " He said "The most wild act of burglary was from Elton John's place. He has very high walls and very vicious dogs."

Derren Brown choose to make his confession shortly after admitting to being in a gay relationship.

"Coming out as a turd burglar when you are in the public eye is one of those things that isn't an issue to yourself, your friends or your family. But you have to make a statement about it."

"You have to be open and up front - or you end up turning it into a dark secret in your mind."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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