What a silly Lunt

Written by Steddyeddy

Tuesday, 22 April 2008

image for What a silly Lunt
Such a pretty Lunt

The village of Lunt in Merseyside has been asked to consider changing its name because vandals keep defacing road signs in what is being termed "involuntary name-adjustment syndrome".

However, there is fierce opposition from local residents who fear their heritage is being eroded because of the activities of a handful of childish morons.

Councillor Richard Bustard, himself no stranger to "involuntary name-adjustment syndrome", thinks it is shameful. He said:

"I can appreciate that when people come to visit Lunt, they expect road signage near the town to read "Lunt" and not "Lont", "Loot" or even "Coot".

The Mayor of Lunt, Councillor Annie Viagra added:

"There are towns in the UK such as Bognor Regis, Telford and Hull which have never suffered involuntary name-adjustment syndrome, despite the levels of embarrassment suffered by locals who live there. So why should we?

"Visitors have always looked forward to visiting our "Lunt of a town", they know it is "Lunt by name and Lunt by nature" and they adore our pub which is called "A Shower of Lunts". In fact, any local resident who has a window replaced always describes it as a "pane in the Lunt".

"And when the farmers market is in full swing with pig, cow and horse manure a plenty, it turns into a "Smelly old Lunt". And it mustn't be forgotten that both our annual archaeological excavation event, "A dig in the Lunt" and our annual "Punt in the Lunt" regatta on the River Labia that flows through the town, are almost world famous throughout parts of the borough."

In the meantime, Penistone near Wakefield and Wombwell near Barnsley have applied for twin town status with Lunt.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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