Jeremy Kyle to prosecute the Shannon Matthews Case

Funny story written by Matt 'Crusty' Morgan

Wednesday, 9 April 2008

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image for Jeremy Kyle to prosecute the Shannon Matthews Case
Kyle; ready for answers

Jeremy Kyle, the inquisitor extraordinaire of daytime TV has been offered a lucrative deal by the Crown Prosecution Service, to be the prosecutor in the multiple cases of Shannon Matthews Mother, her 'Boyfriend', Craig,the supposed Gary Glitter of Dewsbury in West Yorkshire, the neighbours...Craig's sister and mother (Keep up now), Craig's Uncle (the alleged abductor, and alleged lover of Karen) and ...well there are bound to be more!

Kyle was selected for his confrontational and wholly moralistic approach to such issues of incest, extra marital (or extra curricular) affairs; he is expert in polygraph testing as well as DNA analysis. Together with his trusted TV counsellor you can bet they'll get to the bottom of this sordid affair.

What's more it is thought that a not for profit TV phone vote will replace the Jury.

This will be compulsive viewing - keep logging on for the Time and date as you will no doubt want to take a sickie or re-arrange that all important Probation Appointment.

Who goes down? ...you decide.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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