Matthews Police: This is not a joke

Funny story written by Wally Lopez

Tuesday, 8 April 2008

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(Dewsbury) Police investigating the disappearance and subsequent reappearance of nine-year-old Shannon Matthews have strongly denied rumours that the whole story is a joke, and that its main characters are actors making a new topical sketch show for BBC Three.

The claims have arisen after it was revealed that the whole thing was an attempt by the Matthews family to con money out of Madeline and Gerry McCann. Representatives of the Find Madeline campaign have denied that they were in on the stunt.

Matthews home town of Dewesbury, a village with 10,000 people but just four surnames, is in shock at the allegations.

"We know some funny stuff goes on round 'ere" one local told us this morning "but faking your daughter's dissappearance for money hasn't happened for at least six years. It's come as quite a shock".

Producers for the BBC have refused to confirm or deny the allegations. No-one was available to talk about the incident, but the board he put out a statement that its remit is to spend licence fee payers money on quality television, and that the case of Shannon Matthews has certainly provided that.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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