TheSpoof.com has scooped all dailies, weeklies and almanacs by printing the first unexpurgated list of the Members of Parliament's expense accounts. Hold on to your knickers and tie that French tickler in a knot, here it comes!
MP Purdy McGonicle of High Court spent 50 lbs chasin after MP Macho McBride!
MP Nigel LaCrosse of Bottom Dragon - 1,000 for g-strings from Paraphernalia4YourGenitalia.cum
MP Restitute Resigdual of Wall by Lakestreet invested an obscene amount in a corn flake factory in Wales owned by Ms Alyssa Alps.
MP Patrick St. Snakebanisher bought gallons of Guinness to donate to a charity named in his tax reports: "Downmeownthroat". The fund is purported to treat cancer of the esophagus.
MP M.P. Pushtaker bought a tobacco lobby for a cart load of money. His foundation PuffnStuff seeks to cultivate medical marijuana amid the heather o the Scottish Highlands.
MP Scler O'sis of Liverpool invested barrels o dough in barrels o scotch for research into a new cough medicine named Hottoddy.
