European Union Legislation Turd Standards Fails's Turd

Funny story written by carina-eta

Saturday, 16 February 2008

image for European Union Legislation Turd Standards Fails's Turd Turd; I'm Smiling But Im Crying Inside.

The European Commission for standardising products has today slapped a big, wet ban on the's famous turd picture as "imperfect." The commission, which has in the past smashed the U.K's egg market for not having round enough eggs and stamped on the banana trade for selling bent bananas has today issued a ban on the turd.

A commission spokesman today described the turd as, "the wrong texture, too wet-looking, shiny and with a definite hole in the middle." The Commission have reported the turd as being non-conformist and asked Mark Lowton, editor of, to produce a DNA sample to enable a successful prosecution.

"We demand to know who is producing these sub-standard turds," commented a commission spokesperson today.

In the U.K the Post Office has produced a plastic "turd standard" measure complete with "shit slot" to enable members of the public to ensure that turds are of the correct "standardised" size and shape. The Post Office today said, "If it doesn't fit through the slot it doesn't get posted."

Editor Mark Lowton said today, "I've always thought that turd looked rather happy, I don't think that's actually a hole, I think it's just got a big smile on it's squishy little face."

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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