Freed Gun Teacher Vows To Carry On Crusade Against Crime

Funny story written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 7 February 2008

image for Freed Gun Teacher Vows To Carry On Crusade Against Crime
...or something small that you can fit in the knife-and-fork drawer

A woman schoolteacher who was jailed for firing a gun at vandals in Manchester in 2004, has been freed on a 'technicality', and has vowed to continue her fight against crime and anti-social behaviour as soon as she gets back to her job in Salford.

Linda Walker, 50, was given a 6-month prison sentence after discharging her weapon back in 2004, but a Court has now quashed her conviction, calling it 'ludicrous'. She has also been cleared to start teaching again.

Mrs Walker, of Urmston, was subjected to a series of verbal and physical attacks at her home, and decided to 'deal with the problem herself' after the police ignored her pleas for help. She was told the incidents were 'low priority'.

She took an old hunting rifle she had bought at a Car Boot sale, and shot repeatedly at youths who were burning a car in the street outside her home. One of them became frightened, and ran away to tell his mum.

Yesterday, however, the Appeal Court in London threw out the sentence, and said that rather than being detained at Her Majesty's Pleasure, she should be given a Medal of Honour. Lord Chief Justice Righteous said:

"People should be able to defend themselves and their property by any means available to them, and if you can get a cheap gun at a Car Boot sale, I advise you to do so.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

Do you dream of being a comedy news writer? Click here to be a writer!

Comedy spoof news topics
Go to top
readers are online right now!
Globey, The Spoof's mascot

We use cookies to give you the best experience, this includes cookies from third party websites and advertisers.

Continue ? Find out more