'Humble' Brown Takes Over as Leader

Funny story written by Cal Jennings

Friday, 18 May 2007

image for 'Humble' Brown Takes Over as Leader
'Humble' Brown Takes Over

CCN (Crazy Cal News) - London - Today, Prime minister-elect Gordon Brown said he was "truly humbled" to have been appointed Labour leader, even though Labour Party party members refused to endorse his promotion.

Said Brown, "The scale of nominations shows to country a party wholly united in its determination not to retreat into the past but to go forward as New Labour."

When asked what "New Labour" meant, Brown said that it meant promising to re-build trust in politics by listening to the corporate heads and workers working for lower wages, less benefits, longer hours, and lower standards of education.

"It is about a different type of politics. A more open and honest dialogue; frank about problems, candid about dilemmas, never losing touch with the concerns of corporations," said Brown.

Mr. Brown has persistently displayed a "dour image", but today insisted he was "more optimistic than ever" about his plans for Britain since his ex-lover Tony Blair said that he would talk to President Bush about giving him a place in the New World Order.

"I'm passionate about Tony Blair," said Mr. Brown. "I know he's my ex-lover, but you just HAVE to LOVE that man."

Brown added that he will also be attending the Bush/Blair wedding.

"I've forgiven my old lover now, and I would do ANYthing to see him happy. How could I MISS this GLOrious oCCAsion? I hope he'll let me be one of the bridesmaids... [sigh] always the bridesmaid and never the bride," expressed Brown.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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