After news broke that only one person bought one ticket to see the official London Premiere of Melania, President Trump hit out at the disappointing turnout, stating that he'd added an additional requirement to obtain an American visa.
"For any visitors to America, as well as showing the last five years of social media content," Pam Bondi said, on Trump's behalf, "we also insist on seeing a cinema ticket stub for the film Melania."
Trump's latest executive order comes into force this week, with queues forming outside Vue Cinemas to get a ticket in order to obtain a visa.
"I'm just getting the ticket," said Harry Boycott. "I'm not watching that crap. But I've got a job in the US next week, and need my visa."
A black market in fake Melania cinema ticket stubs has sprung up, some fetching as much as fifty pence. An FBI task-force has been set up to identify the forgeries, stating that in some cases the counterfeit tickets would be good enough to fool the twelve year-old checking tickets at the cinema.
The film, widely slated by critics as a fluff piece designed to show the First Lady in a positive light and provide the world with a new source of memes, opened in London on January 30th, with one ticket bought by London's only Melania fan, Victor Knaves.
"It is important to see my daughter, er, the First Lady of America, in her cinema debut on her premier," Victor said, with a heavy Slovenian accent, though he insists he is not her father.
Two further tickets were bought for the second showing. The purchaser of these tickets bought them as a prank, but didn't want to risk being caught by the press at the first showing. After the announcement ticket sales had doubled within one day, President Trump took to Truth Social claiming the film had gone viral.
