The Spoof has spent two whole years tracking down the commission-only salesman who worked tirelessly during the summer of 2003 to put wasteful patio heaters into the gardens of Britain's pubs, bars and restaurants. This man is single-handedly responsible for wiping out all the gains in greenhouse gas emissions made by Britain's expensive wind-farms, ensuring that by 2020, the whole of Britain will need to be a giant wind-farm to meet targets thrashed out on March 9th 2007.
To recap, only The Spoof cares about Global Warming, because all the others care about is themselves. On March 9th 2007, the EU agreed a brave new deal for tackling climate change, committing EU countries (including the UK) to reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 20% by 2020, and to produce a fifth of its energy via renewable sources by the same date. The agreement, thrashed out at a summit in Brussels, gives the EU realistic targets to tackle climate change, except here in Britain, all because of Mr. Vance 'Greedy' Self.
We tracked down, Mr. Vance Self, 23, enjoying a new life in the Med on his expensive motor launch. When approached by journalists from The Spoof, Mr. Self produced a harpoon gun, and threatened to use it. We say, "How would you like a wind-farm near you, Mr. Selfish?" Let's see how he likes that.
