44 Off The Floor

Funny story written by Ana Sian

Thursday, 20 October 2022

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The Who and the Laughing World Want to Know ...

44 days and she’s outa there! Who can top that? Let’s try for 22 next, then 11, then 1 day. If that’s not a good way to conduct a ‘democratic’ monarchy – I mean, government – I don’t know what it! It’s working sooooo well!

And it’s Mr. Bean up next, with crazy ideas for a crazy time – and he is gone! Wow! He said a bad word and that’s it for him – which is odd since he mostly works in mime. Maybe an obscene hand gesture?

And Larry the Cat is up next. He’s a contender, staying strong, doesn’t like gits in Number 10 and doesn’t fear letting them know it. He has already chased a fox outa town (why is there a fox in London? With the Queen gone, she can’t have a fox hunt anymore? And Charles isn’t a good shot?)

Larry has not resigned, but he doesn’t seem interested in the job. He’s in the garbage right now looking for empty cans of tuna – now that’s a cat with his priorities straight. We love you, Larry. You’re smarter than humans since you know being PM is a trap!

And who’s next? Boaty McBoatface? A pint of bitters? Maybe Charles can try being PM instead of king, though who knows if he’ll be good at either “job”. Maybe bring back Boris – losing and getting his job back in the same year – wow again! People’s memories sure are short. If they hate you today, not to worry, they’ll beg you to come back tomorrow when your replacement proves to be a bigger joke than you ever were.

With the head of lettuce winning the race against Truss other food items have put in their plates for the leadership race! And results have already come in! (When you need a new leader, vote quickly and shove anybody into place or else you'll look foolish and desperate!)

And it’s a mutton pie winning over a plate of fish and chips!

One pie out, one pie in – it’s a winning strategy of the Conservatives, who must be used to winning the PM slot again and again – if that’s what they call winning.

Congrats to the MP: Mutton Pie! Now … unleash hell! (With the pie’s replacement dancing with impatience in the shadows, listening to The Who as they ask … who’s next?)

PS: Vegas is giving odds for the next PM. Place yer bets now and win big big BIG as the UK FALLS, Falls, falls ...

PPS: Now does Liz get all the perks that all PMs get? 44 days is a goddamn good pay day for the rest of her life! Where can I apply to be Prime Minister?

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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