I’ve been a sub-dom non-tax paying UK citizen for thirty years, says Jacob Rees-Mogg

Funny story written by Danny Soz

Monday, 11 April 2022

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Following on from the furore surrounding Chancellor Rishi Sunak’s wife’s non-dom tax avoidance status, The Leader of The House of Commons, Jacob Rees-Mogg, has told a newspaper that he’s been a non-tax-paying practitioner of a deviant sexual practice involving bondage and flagellation, colloquially referred to as submission/domination, or, sub/dom for short.

Speaking in The Sunday Times, Mogg, a devout Catholic, admitted: ‘I’ve been involved in the sub/dom world pretty much since I left Eton forty or so years back.

‘I think it’s a public school thing, to be honest.

‘We used to flog the younger boys regularly, and, on occasion, would get them to return the favour.

‘I opened a sub/dom bawdy house in St James’s after leaving school and ran the entire show for thirty years at a handsome profit without paying a penny in income tax.

‘I now fully intend to recompense the exchequer for the full amount and shall be asking my mistress in Pimlico to flog me to the bone by way of penance.’

Rees-Mogg was reprimanded by the Government Chief Whip in nineteen ninety-seven for asking a female House of Commons staff member to beat him bloody with a barbed scourge in the ladies’ toilets.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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