That programme you are watching, the one with a bit of mystery, an older actress you used to fancy a bit, it won't end well, you know.
'The Neighbour' or 'The Unexpected' or 'A Rest for a Raven' or whatever it is called is set in a house with a kitchen more expensive than your house, children that are properly behaved and don't throw food all over the place, because it smells funny, and a strange, unsettling feeling you have seen it all before.
A face from the past, a shared secret history, maybe even a lost love will all feature. The policing will be bad, and they will never call for backup, and then the credit rolls, and you won't remember the storyline, but you will have sat through a fair amount of adverts for Toilet roll.
See, I told you, didn't I?
Don't say I didn't warn you.