Stanley Bridgewater from charming village Mithering on the Trent still has no muscles, even though he bought a set of dumbbells and a chest expander from eBay during the first week of Lockdown in March 2020.
'Yes' said the morose chappy. 'I bought the gym equipment nearly a year ago, and I still have no muscles to speak of. 2020 was meant to be my year, and then 2021 was as well, but I still have no muscles, despite what the Internet tells me.
Twenty minutes they said'.
'Twenty Minutes a day?' asked Stanley when we told him what an actual fitness regime was. 'That explains so much. It probably also explains why I still can't play all of the musical instruments I bought. Well, that Bassoon won't play itself, will it?