Absent-minded pensioner Neil Anconfess claimed in court that his apparently deliberate act of indecent exposure was simply a misunderstanding.
“It was all because of the Christmas tree. I was trying to put up decorations and the wife was looking into my boxes.”
“Your boxers?” asked magistrate Lady Sharp.
“No,” said Mr Anconfess, “my boxes of decorations, which I have had for years. And she says, ‘Your baubles are all dusty.’ Well, I was disappointed, even at my age, and I’d only just had a shower. So, I went to have a look.”
“With the curtains open?” asked Lady Sharp.
“Well, no, with my flies open. That’s the only way I could check, you see.”
“I was shocked at what I saw,” said neighbour Doris Allwaysopen. “And I’ve seen some things.”
Mr Anconfess was sentenced to be bound over. “That does sound interesting,” he said later.