Truckdriver stuck in a huge jam in front of Dover attempts to pee in a bush, but misses!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 21 December 2020

image for Truckdriver stuck in a huge jam in front of Dover attempts to pee in a bush, but misses!
Well ancient trucker, Jaggedone, wishes them all a happy Christmas stuck between Dover and No-Man's-Land!

(NOT EDITED) Things are getting quite desperate among hundreds of trucks waiting for French authorities to open their borders to UK traffic. Most truckers, who come from Eastern Europe, do not speak English or French, and are wondering why they are stuck in a massive row of trucks.

Jaggedone told his CIA (Cockroach Infiltration Army) logistic reporters to scurry down to Kent and find out what the fuck is going on! Here are their findings after interviewing several stranded Eastern European truckers:

"Hey, Vladimir from Latvia, do you know why you are stuck here?"

Answer: "No you fucking pest, but I need a crap urgently, I eat my last tin of Russian cabbage last night and I have no clean underpants left!"

"Hey, Viktor from Poland, why do you think nothing is moving?"

Answer: "Vell, I vink zat ze Brits have run out of baguettes vor Christmas, and zey are sending zer trucks to load zem before Brexit!"

"Hey, Nikolay from Bulgaria, why do you think you are stuck here before Christmas?"

Answer: "It's a conspiracy and Nigel Farage, zat Nazi vanker is to blame! I need a vank too because I vill not see ze missus until 2021!"

"Hey, Dimitrov from Russia, when do you think you'll be home again?"

Answer: "Vell I have been on ze road since April, I lost my navi and don't even know vich direction Russia is, I need a quick vee, get out of ze way!"

Dimitrov jumps out of his truck and pees over the head of Jaggedone's favourite CIA Roach Reporter as he missed a bush.

French authorities have promised to open their borders before 31.12.2020 hoping the blockade will loosen Boris Johnson's brain before the Brexit deadline on a trade deal sinks into oblivion between Dover and Calais! Miracles can still happen at Christmas time!

Meanwhile Eastern European truckers are crapping on the M20 because they're from Eastern Europe and they don't need bogs in Siberia!

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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