Man reading book with funny accents

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 1 November 2020

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Where is the Ninky Nonk?

Man about the town Gary Johnson is currently reading Ann Cleeves' latest Vera novel, 'The Darkest Evening', but each time he keeps reading what Vera says in a Geordie accent.

'It was right weird, bonny lad,' said Mr Johnson, from somewhere in deepest, darkest London, 'and every time I read a line of dialogue, in my head, it comes out in Geordie. Even the nice team she has around her.'

Lorraine, Gary's long-suffering good lady wife, said: 'He tells me about this all of the time. He has the voice of Ken Stott in his head every year with a new Ian Rankin. Personally, I only ever read intellectual bullshit books, that Stephen Fry does the audiobook for, so I am alright with that.'

Son, Thomas, 15, was upstairs, mooning over schoolmate, Sarah.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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