Boris Johnson, UK prime minister, has reportedly been subject to a carefully planned and coordinated identity robbery by none other than Ronald McDonald, the fast food personality.
The erstwhile criminal, otherwise known as a colourful promotional being, managed to physically access number 10 Downing Street in a Gucci-designed suit that fooled everyone from the PM's butler to the head of security. Once inside, he had all the staff change their email indexes, supplanting Boris's email address with his own.
The effect was amazing. The colourful clown was able to receive classified info on all aspects of the fast food industry in Britain, including how the regular customer is cheated by unscrupulous franchise holders who put strange items in their burgers, such as dead cockroaches or even discarded fingernail pieces.
However, the McDonalds icon had one last trick up his sleeve. The large-footed one arranged for all franchise holders to receive extravagant government grants dressed up as community salvation initiatives. Millions of pounds have been directed to these people as a result.
Ronald McDonald was last seen hitching his way to a location unknown along the M2. No one will really know the full extent of the damage he has inflicted on Boris Johnson's administration.