UK Raging Ravers Ruin Rehab!

Funny story written by Jaggedone

Monday, 20 July 2020

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They just gave up because fighting ISIS terrorists is easier!!

Back in the good old 1980's and 1990's, England sent hoards of pissed footy hooligans over to mainland Europe to smash, destroy, booze, cause havoc, and attempt to kick the lights out of their European counterparts, who, in turn, reacted with violence, because they could not allow a bunch of English soccer heathens to take their territory.

Bruised, arrested, and stuffed in the local slammer, they were eventually tamed and conquered by European police using violence against violence - not BLM style, but nearly. Many English hooligans pleaded innocence, and claimed they were just having a good old-fashioned riot ripping up chairs, tables, and anything they could get their hands on in major European cities.

Well, the 'sickness' has raised its ugly head many times since then, but it mainly remains on the once-so-beautiful green island stuck in the North Sea, called the UK.

However, a new form of 'Raging Ravers' has appeared since Covid lockdowns. Illegal Ravers, raving all night and all day long in peaceful Somerset, and other wonderful UK locations, where rich OAPs retire for a bit of tranquil country peace and quiet.

Local police have found it quite difficult stopping the 'Raving Riff-Raff', and admitted to losing the battle, because thousands of the 'pestilence' arrive blocking country lanes, pissed and drugged out of their brains, and making noise that can be heard miles and miles away.

UK Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, admits he couldn't hear a thing in 10, Downing Street, told the Ravers to behave themselves, not to be naughty, keep social distance, and wear a mask, otherwise the UK could be hit with a second-wave pandemic.

A spokesman for the Ravers countered: "We don't give a fuck, BOJO. We're all going to die anyway, so let's have a good time doing it!"

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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