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Funny story: New Study Shows Most People Pretty Average

New Study Shows Most People Pretty Average

A new study published in the Journal of Human Evolution showed that the vast majority of Americans are not exceptional in any significant way and, in fact, are pretty average. Sociologist Dr. Charles Stanton, who conducted the study, said that he...

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Funny story: Former Punk Rocker Achieves True Success by Going to Work for Healthcare Company

Former Punk Rocker Achieves True Success by Going to Work for Healthcare Company

"So many people move here hoping to make it as a professional singer or songwriter and end up becoming disheartened when they never hit the big-time," said career counselor Pam Hardy of Nashville, Tennessee. "But I think we need to change our definit...

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Funny story: Aspiring Novelist Encouraged by Polite Rejections He's Received

Aspiring Novelist Encouraged by Polite Rejections He's Received

While aspiring novelist Nate Hanson of Tulsa, Oklahoma, hasn't - yet - found any takers for the  "modern-day great American novel" he spent over a decade writing, he is heartened and deeply encouraged by the plethora of extremely civil rejections he'...

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Funny story: Man Wakes Up To Find He Can See Through Women's Clothing

Man Wakes Up To Find He Can See Through Women's Clothing

There was a pleasant surprise in store for one man on Monday morning, when he woke from his slumbers to find that he could see through women's clothing. The x-rated X-ray treat presented itself to Malcolm Thompson when he first opened his eyes at...

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Funny story: Harried Horticulturist Lacks Time to Stop and Smell Her Own Roses

Harried Horticulturist Lacks Time to Stop and Smell Her Own Roses

World-renowned horticulturist Meghan Barlow, pressured on all sides to produce more award-winning zinnias, pentuias, celosia, and other blooms, recently realized that she lacked the time to stop and smell her own roses. "It's a problem," she ackno...

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Funny story: Man's Terrifying Dreams Come True

Man's Terrifying Dreams Come True

A man in Battambang awoke in a cold sweat this morning after a restless night during which he had several nightmares, but this was only the start of his torture, as the disturbing things he had experienced whilst asleep, began to reveal themselves as...

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Funny story: Nashville Woman Wonders When Her Bachelorette Party Will Finally Come

Nashville Woman Wonders When Her Bachelorette Party Will Finally Come

Every time 34-year-old Kendra Burke of Nashville, Tennessee, sees a crew of drunken girls in cutoff short-shorts, cowboy boots, and matching T-shirts go by on a foot-powered Pedal Tavern Bus, she wonders when the day will finally come for her bachelo...

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Funny story: West Virginia Family Torn Asunder by Son's Hobo Dreams

West Virginia Family Torn Asunder by Son's Hobo Dreams

Eight-year-old Jack Strait of Morgantown, West Virginia, isn't overly concerned about the worsening economic downturn or rising college tuition rates; he's got another career option in mind. Jack recently informed his parents that he intends to be a...

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Funny story: Hope Stupidly Springs Eternal for Struggling New Yorkers

Hope Stupidly Springs Eternal for Struggling New Yorkers

According to recent polls, over 70 percent of New York City residents remain ridiculously optimistic about their futures despite overwhelming indications that nothing in their personal or professional lives will ever change for the better, thereby pr...

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Funny story: Everything You Thought You Already Knew About Life

Everything You Thought You Already Knew About Life

Life- An annoying thing that happens when you wake up in the morning. Life- The commitment you don't remember having agreed to. Life- 16 hours you have to live through before you can go back to bed again. Life- A pain in the ass that doesn't limit itself to just that area. Life- A journey on a sea of unknown depths. Life- Two third of a day that it takes one third of a night to reco...

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Funny story: Giant Luffa Still Terrorizing Nation's Dreams

Giant Luffa Still Terrorizing Nation's Dreams

"Just do it, Johnny," cringed out the stuffed and mangled school teacher to her student after being absorbed and becoming one with the giant luffa raining havoc across the American landscape. "Bullet to the brain. Quick and easy. Give it to me no-,"...

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Funny story: Eric Cantor: "Godzilla Scares Me"

Eric Cantor: "Godzilla Scares Me"

House Majority Leader Eric Cantor told Hollywood Beat Magazine that he is indeed scared of Godzilla. "He really frightens me" a subdued Cantor told reporter Holly Sue Robbins "After I saw Godzilla VS. Space Godzilla, I have nightmares". Cant...

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Funny story: Johnny Depp: I Hope I'm Not Possessed!

Johnny Depp: I Hope I'm Not Possessed!

Actor Johnny Depp who has had so much fun doing the Pirates movies and others says that ever since he played Edward Scissorhand, he has felt odd. "I usually do well during the day but at night, it's different...and even sometimes in the day." D...

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Funny story: Area Man Proves Doubters, Critics Right

Area Man Proves Doubters, Critics Right

NEW YORK, NY--When Jerry Elmswick dropped out of college in 1996 to start his own travel agency, he faced a rapid barrage of criticism and disapproval from his friends and family. 17 years later, Elmswick can finally stand up and tell all of his doub...

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Funny story: Rhode Island Woman Files for Divorce from Reality, Pleading Domestic Violence

Rhode Island Woman Files for Divorce from Reality, Pleading Domestic Violence

The scourge of domestic violence is not limited to traditional male-female or other intimate human relationships; it may occur between a person and reality itself - at least that's what 28-year-old Newport, Rhode Island resident Regina Bartwell belie...

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Funny story: Bruce Springsteen Gave Me A Guitar.

Bruce Springsteen Gave Me A Guitar.

So it dawns on me that, of course, the guitar must have been from Bruce. Springsteen. I'm not sure how I know… but I remember as we - I can't discern who's with me - approach the gig. It's like a large village hall with a balcony - or one of those non-conformist churches, but I can see no religious stuff. Anyway, we take seats on the floor to one side, under the balcony, thinking we won...

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Funny story: Wake up, America. It's all just a bad dream.

Wake up, America. It's all just a bad dream.

New York City - The nation is sleeping through the wrong American Dream, and needs only to wake up to avoid the nightmarish problems it is facing. "If you don't think you're dreaming, examine the evidence that proves otherwise," said Kilgore Trout...

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