Area man, Floyd Woodsmonkey, has told friends that he regrets having a recent penis extension, and has advised others to think hard and long before they embark on a similar venture.
"If I could turn back time, I would," said Woodsmonkey to gathered reporters, "It is a decision I am living to regret; my wife hates it. Detests it. And I am the laughing stock of the local area.
"If anyone else is tempted to have one, then they are welcome to come and see mine.
"The house looks bloody ridiculous now, and it's probably dropped in value.
"Whatever possessed me to have a giant cock-and-balls-shaped conservatory built is beyond me."
