Despite putting nearly £9.00 into the Marketing budget, nobody has visited the live broadcast from Leicester's world-famous dust museum.
Museum spokesman, Dusty Buckets, told us: 'It is really sad that no-one has visited yet. We have had Dave, with all of his allergies primed to give us his narration. He is no Morgan Freeman, but he is better than Duncan Norville, which is something. Dust is one of those things that is in everyone's house, but this is the only museum in the country where you can see it, and think about what it means. It is 93% human skin, anyway.'
Harrogate's Museum of Queueing, and Stockport's exhibition of the unneeded apology have also been very quiet.
The Leicester Museum of Dust is usually open Monday - Saturday 9.00 until 16.00, and it was last in the news when clueless cleaner Mavis Davis hovered up all of the priceless exhibits.