The Herring's Gills, a popular hostelry in Mithering on the Trent, has revealed that, although it is closed for business, and its folk music, cribbage, darts and belly-dancing competitions are no longer taking place, one positive is that Sandra and Clarke, the tone-deaf couple who turn up to torture the audience with their off-key off rhythm whimsy, haven't been turning up either.
Landlady, Elaine, said: 'I am open-minded about music, and usually it is a good night with the folk lot, but when Sandra and her Autoharp, and Clarke and his ukulele get up to play, everyone rushes to the bar and stays in the room. The one time they performed all of Freebird, we sold nearly £450 of drink at the bar. Obviously, they are great for business, but my eardrums and love for humanity always take something of a battering.'
Local teenager, Tom Johnson, brought his friend Sarah along to the evening, one night, and they drank Coke and ate crisps whilst listening to the music.
'Obviously, Folk music is always a bit twee, but when that couple got up and did their experimental atonal jazz thing, it right livened the night up!'
'Sarah didn't really like it though. I really like Sarah. Don't tell her that though - we are just good friends, really.'