People lowering their standards on dating sites

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Wednesday, 15 April 2020

image for People lowering their standards on dating sites
All I wanted was a talking lion....

It has been brought to our mention that, with Coronavirus, a lot of people are wasting their time and money on dating websites (even more than usual), and many have told us that they will be lowering their standards as and when restrictions are lifted.

Tracy Brassingthwaite, a barmaid from Mithering on the Trent, told us: 'Yes, I was really holding out for a tall, dark handsome multi-millionaire with a yacht, all of his own teeth and hair, but I suppose I am willing to overlook some of that.'

Stephen Mulgrew, also from Mithering on the Trent, said 'Time was, I used to have a bit of a thing for Sandra Bullock, so I was really hoping for her, but I don't suppose she will ever be in the Ferret and Flat-Cap on a Friday for Dominoes, will she?'

Does anyone else notice we could match-make this pair? No, I didn't think so either.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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