Larry is Number Ten's New Top Cat

Funny story written by Gerry Hatrick

Wednesday, 8 April 2020

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KITTY CHAOS: Larry will step up

CONCERNS over a power vacuum at the heart of the British government were allayed yesterday, when stricken Prime Minister Boris Johnson announced that his next most trusted aide, Larry the cat would take over.

Downing Street resident Larry, who has come within a whisker of power under two previous premierships, was announced after Coronavirus victim Johnson had to extend his stay in hospital.

Speculation had grown that with no deputy, and only Foreign Secretary, Dominic Raab, Chancellor, Rishi Sunak and Home Secretary, Pritti Patel to choose from, the country would lurch into an even greater crisis.

But in a statement, Mr Johnson explained why he felt Larry was the purr-fect candidate: "I have known Larry for many weeks and watched his work with admiration, and feel, on balance, that his coolness and relaxed style are just what the country needs at this difficult time."

"In addition, we are on the same wavelength. I don't believe in pussy-footing around, and neither does Larry. He seems to agree with my style, especially after a little cuddle and his favourite tin of Whiskers supermeat."

Larry is expected to take control of tomorrow's first cabinet meeting right after his afternoon nap.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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