Couple decide to get a man in, when all of this is over

Written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 22 March 2020

image for Couple decide to get a man in, when all of this is over
Oh, Gary, what have you done now?

Local couple Gary and Lorraine Johnson from charming, but sadly deserted hamlet, Chutney on the Fritz, have decided that when Coronavirus is over, they will have to get a man in, to fix all of the mistakes that Gary has made.

The beloved football fan and speaker of the truth about the weather was all set to complete all of the jobs that Lorraine said needed doing when he had time, only to discover that DIY is not really his forté.

'I was all set to work on the house,' said Gary. 'I went to Wickes in Mithering on the Trent, bought all of the equipment I needed, and now the house is in even more of a state than it was before.'

Lorraine continued, 'Gary couldn't get the right paint, so he bought paints of different colours, and got it all over the carpet. Trhe finish is streaky, and doesn't match anything in the room. He tried to put some shelves up, but now we have nothing but holes, and some wonky shelves. Less than a week in, and still months to go.....it is a good job I love him!'


Their 14-year-old son, Thomas, is up in his room. Doing what 14-year-olds have always done in their rooms, and thinking about his good friend, Sarah.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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