Insensitive buffoon, Shane Brassingthwaite, a fully trained pipe fitter from Mithering on the Trent, has replaced his picture on Firestarter.com with one that is even more morally dubious.
His previous one was of Shane holding a four-foot pike that he had just caught, but his new one is of him outside a local supermarket, holding a full packet of Toilet Rolls.
Potential love interest, Natalie Smith, said 'His profile first took my interest when it started with 'Hey up, love'. I thought that was a charming start, and then it just went on from there, until I saw the picture. He is one of those smug gits lording it up over all of us. In the words of everyone, Shane, it is a no from me'.
Shane also has a face that only a mother could love, and a selection of Chris De Burgh albums. He is a catch only in the same way that the pike was a catch.