Man who takes offence at everything cannot believe how much offence he has.....

Funny story written by Ben Macnair

Sunday, 23 February 2020

image for Man who takes offence at everything cannot believe how much offence he has.....
Oh no Gavin, it is all too offensive for me.

The trouble with taking offence is that too often there is far too much of it for one man, which was the problem faced by a 23-year-old man about town, Robert Smythe III.

'There I was, on the internet, taking offence at something a friend said about a film I had not seen, and I just let him know he had offended me. Then I said the same thing on the Facebook page of someone I have never even met, and then when he replied to my offence, I was really offended by that. In the past, I have just let people know I have been offended by something, and it stops the argument. but now even that doesn't seem to work.'

Smythe cannot hold down a job, and is offended by everyone, so personal relationships are not for him. 'Imagine,' he continued, 'if I met someone, and she told me she liked a shirt I was wearing, I would then have to be offended on behalf of all of the shirts that she didn't like. If I invited her back to my place, I would be offended by everything about her, and that just wouldn't do.'

We cannot imagine that would be a problem. Robert Smythe III is very offensive himself.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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