There was shock and consternation today, when the Queen pointed out that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle do not actually have the right to use their names.
The sprightly 93-year-old pointed out 'As they were neither the first Harry or Meghan to be born, we insist that if they wish to carry on using those names, they have to ask permission from everyone else called Harry or Meghan.
Yes, we know it seems tough, but it must be done. If I don't own the jurisdiction on using Royal, then I don't know who does. Harry isn't even my favourite grandson...., and no, I am not going to tell you who is.'
Harry and Meghan are both said to be fuming. The Queen has a series of attack corgis, and a navy and an army at her disposal. We don't really fancy Harry and Meghan's chances.