Man buying Quality Street just for the Toffee Penny

Written by Ben Macnair

Wednesday, 4 December 2019

image for Man buying Quality Street just for the Toffee Penny
Bbbrrrrrr...it is a bit nippy, isn't it?

Gary Johnson, Chutney on the Fritz's football-loving husband, has revealed that he only buys tins of Quality Street (other tins of confectionary are available) for the Toffee Penny.

Talking to us from the saturated pitch at the Hope and Hopeless pub in Hope Street, the rotund husband of Lorraine told us 'I only ever buy Quality Street because of the Toffee Penny. Lorraine and her friends eat all of the other ones. It saves me getting any fatter. I could offer them down to the lads at the Club, but the team is so old now that must have them don't have any teeth anymore'.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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