Boycott Boycott

Written by Backandtotheleft

Tuesday, 10 September 2019

image for Boycott Boycott
"Bosh! You posh broad"

Certified woman beater, Geoffrey Boycott, has said he “doesn’t give a shit” about the critics of his knighthood. Geoffrey said:

"You knock one silly broad around in one lousy hotel, and you’re branded for life! It was only a couple of slaps, a quick dig to the ribs and a few shin kicks. I mean how much could it have really hurt?"

Boycott, who once famously claimed that he’d have to “black up” to get a knighthood, chuckled at the irony, saying:

"Yeah, I always thought I’d have to get up like one of those dark lads, you know, “black up”, if you will. But it turns out I only had to “black up” a couple of eyes."

Boycott, who has been given a knighthood for hitting a ball with a bat, was in a jovial mood as he sat outside the doctor's surgery, harassing single mothers getting vaccinations for their kids. He laughed as one lady quickened her pace to get away from his jibes, and said:

"I’m getting this deserved honour for scoring runs. Maybe, if she’d “runs” away from me, she wouldn’t have got a bloody nose! Ey?"

He started throwing jabs left and right before looking us dead in the eye, and exclaiming:

"Look, it’s this bloody women’s lib nonsense, isn’t it? Ever since they got the vote, they’ve had itchy bumholes, and no-one to scratch it for them. And one more thing, if the Queen gives me the eye, I’ll give her the old Boycott Blunderbuss. Left. Right. Goodnight."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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