"Yeah. We're Sorry", Say News Team

Written by Backandtotheleft

Friday, 9 August 2019

image for "Yeah. We're Sorry", Say News Team
They arrived on scooters

Back and to the Left news have sensationally apologised for the content, tone and “general fucking offensiveness” of some of their earlier pieces of work. The multi-award-winning news team have admitted that, sometimes, when they were young ruffians learning the ways of professional writing, they missed the point. They even admitted to missing the point of comedy. They said:

"It has come to our attention that some of our earlier pieces of writing may, in fact, be described as “what is wrong with you guys?” On occasion, in the past, we have completely missed the point through bad writing, blind anger or misreading sources. We like to think of ourselves as champions of everyday people who are just trying to get on."

The controversial news group has been in existence since 2005 and first began writing short news pieces for The Spoof in late 2012. The pre-prepared statement carried on with:

"Our work has always been made with one goal in mind: to entertain, inform and be concise. OK that’s three goals, but they're all noble causes, right? We understand that comedy should always be about “punching up” and never punching down, and, unfortunately, we have realised that some of our earlier pieces were punching down."

Some would say the news group, themselves, should be punched down.

They finished with:

"We’re also really really sorry that we cannot write snappy headlines."

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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