A school near Reading has banned Harry Potter from its shelves, as the books encourage abused children to run away with large hairy men.
The head teacher Robert Sinjin Hole of St Juniper's, near Reading, claimed the first book promoted child trafficking, and the idea life is better at a boarding school. He continued by saying he was shocked when he finally got around to reading the first book and realised that anybody could have claimed to be a wizard, and that it was too easy in this day and age to confuse children, especially abused children.
When the esteemed author J K Rowling was asked about the banning, an insider claimed she just shrugged her shoulders and said, "billionaire baby".
