Labour Party denies that Jeremy Corbyn is losing his, err, memory

Written by Cleopatra Chaos

Monday, 1 July 2019

image for Labour Party denies that Jeremy Corbyn is losing his, err, memory
Not Jeremy Corbyn being wheeled into surgery for memory loss

The Labour Party has reacted angrily to suggestions from Whitehall mandarins that Jeremy Corbyn, the leader of the British Labour Party, is losing his memory.

The secret memo from two of the country’s top civil servants, allegedly refers to the following evidence in support of the conclusion that Corbyn is forgetting stuff -

Firstly, when asked by a reporter what is his position on Brexit, he replied “What the f*** is a breaks-it?

Secondly, he recently greeted Labour colleague Diane Abbott, with whom he had an affair decades ago, with a kiss and asked her if she’d like to “come behind the bike shed with me”.

Thirdly, at the Glastonbury music festival, he was seen wearing a t-shirt which read “Free Nelson Mandela”.

However, Labour activists have hit back, saying that these are simply evidence of Corbyn’s boyish sense of humour. A Momentum member said “Corbyn likes to have a laugh at the rest of us, like when he sat down on the floor of a train, pretending not to have seen all the vacant seats. Any when he playfully punched a reporter, pretending to be angry with him, which of course, he was not. And also when he pretended to like a shocking anti-Semitic mural which depicted Jewish men playing monopoly on the backs of the working class.”

Corbyn recently failed to attend a state dinner for US President Donald Trump, and was discovered with a bunch of aged hippies shouting anti-American slogans. His spokesman said that this was an April Fools Day joke but that “somebody got the date wrong”.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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