London, UK - (Assange Mess): Ecuador’s envoy in London has had to evacuate the country’s embassy building after emergency pest control found a rotting 30-ton grease ball under Julian Assange’s former cellar lair.
The fugitive from justice was nabbed on Friday morning by Metropolitan police following seven years of underground living ever since blagging a deal from Ecuador’s ex-President Rafael Correa.
However, that soon soured with embassy staff complaining about constantly blocked toilets and a whiffy atmosphere that coincided with Assange’s occupation of the building’s lowest levels.
This morning engineers from the London Abasement Company were parachuted in to clean up the crap following claims Assange ‘had been living perilously close’ to a 12-inch soil pipe serving much of Knightsbridge’s effluence needs.
And that he’s been pouring his cat’s kitty-litter contents down the toilet instead of chucking it out into the bins.
Commenting on the latest development the Ecuadorian ambassador confirmed specialists were chipping away at the underground shitball all weekend, and sending their findings to Quito’s Institute of Gastro-Archaeology for analysis.
Contractor the London Abasement Company was recently in the news amid reports that it has ‘built Max Mosley’s orgy cellar’ and parts of the Thames Souper Sewer.
Their Chelsea Flower Show entry last year won a silver-guilt.