London, UK - (Houdini Mess): Armed cops have surrounded Ecuador’s UK embassy where Wikileaks founder Julian Assange is holed up in a cat piss-soaked basement awaiting extradition to the United Snakes.
The 69 year-old fugitive continues to brazen it out in the poky 100 sq ft cellar amid cramped conditions - made worse, some reckon, by additional arrivals at the inner sanctum.
Such as herpes, equine dementia and Africanised clothes moths that have chomped away at the renegade’s smalls.
Commenting on the unfolding standoff a British government spokesperson reiterated that ‘only one fugitive’ is likely resident at the Knightsbridge legation where constant deliveries of ‘several hundred pizzas’ appear to be the daily norm.
“We’re confident the armed siege will soon end Assange’s seven year evasion of justice,” Sir Bumford McBollocks told Spoof website reporters.
“Just in time for the new baby’s birth.” (WTF dat, he shagged Meegan?? - Ed)
Rafael Correa is 104.