April 12, 2019
London, United Kingdom
In an exclusive interview with award-winning reporter, Amiko Aventurista, the Ecuadorian Ambassador to the United Kingdom, Senior Maximo Frutuoso De La Cruz Rodriquez, explained his 10 reasons why Julian Assange was removed from the embassy and handed over to law enforcement authorities. According to De La Cruz, Mr. Assange is no longer welcome, and diplomatic protection has been removed. Mr. De La Cruz listed his reasons from 10 to 1.
Number 10: Julian couldn't roll his Rs in Spanish.
Number 9: Mr. Assange would constantly leave USB drives on the floor and we couldn't walk barefooted.
Number 8: Assange had a prostate problem and was always in the toilet taking a "wikileak".
Number 7: Julian ordered tons of nonsense from the on-line WISH web site.
Number 6: Julian refuse to change his email from AOL claiming it was vintage.
Number 5: Assange would often spread rumors just for fun!
Number 4: Assange demanded to be called Mr. Control, Alt, Delete.
Number 3: Julian wanted a subscription to the Russian news cable station.
Number 2: Julian would squeak out dressed in a Geek Squad uniform.
Number 1: Long term house guests are like fish left out of the fridge for 3 days - after a while, they stink!
