Written by Monkey Woods

Thursday, 17 January 2019

image for General Election Set For Valentine's Day Has Had To Be Cancelled, After MPs Voted Wrongly In 'No Confidence' Debacle
Not now!

A historic defeat for the Prime Minister and her Brexit deal in the House of Commons on Tuesday, and a vote of 'no confidence' in the government on Wednesday, should have forced a General Election, but a major blunder by MPs on their ballot slips, means that will not now happen.

Theresa May's Brexit deal suffered an embarrassing 432 votes to 202 votes drubbing on Tuesday, and Wednesday's vote of 'no confidence' in her government was all that stood between the Labour Party and a return to power.

When it came to voting, however, many MPs ticked their simple ballot paper in the 'Yes' box, meaning they had confidence in the government, rather than the 'No' box, meaning they hadn't.

Consequently, the Tories survived by a vote of 325 votes to 302, and the General Election, earmarked for Thursday, 14 February - Valentine's Day - now won't happen.

Afterwards, MPs were philosophical about the error. One Labour member said:

"I thought 'Yes' meant 'Yes, I want rid of the Tories', but it turns out that it meant 'Yes, I have confidence in them'! What a silly bugger I've been!"

Another laughed:

"They should make these things easier to understand, really. But, hey ho, what's the difference? We all piss in the same pot!"

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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