A Labour supporter who has been single for five years is disappointed to learn that Jacob Rees Mogg is popular with the ladies than he is.
Gary Johnson of Chutney on the Fritz has been largely single for five years, apart from a few forgettable first dates, is stunned to learn that in that time, Rees Mogg has had his sixth child, the rather disappointingly named Sixtus.
'Sixtus' laughed Johnson, bitterly. 'He should have gone the whole hog and just called him Kevin, or Wayne, at least that would have been a non-pretentious name. Six kids, six kids. It's lucky he is not on an estate, otherwise he would be having his benefits cut' continued Johnson.