Anaconda, Montana - Ministers at the First Anaconda Pentecostal Church of the Serpent-in-the-Garden are taking up arms against Jihadi terror by casting a hex against Islamic Snake.
This evening local Snake-in-the-Grass TV News reported that charismatic serpent-handling temple elders held a moonlit 24 hour vigil quoting Luke 10:19, 'Behold, I give unto you power to tread on serpents and scorpions, and smite the venom of filthy Jihad.'
Using the temple's consecrated and monogrammed steel bolt-cutters a pair of Northern Pacific Speckle-back Rattlesnakes were then ritually sacrificed by Pastor Python before being tossed into an open bonfire just as the waxing moon made a potent conjunction with meteors from the Serpentarius Constellation.
The reverberations in the ether could be felt as far away as outer space.
Commenting on the night's hocus-pocus a spokesperson from the Syrian branch of Islamic Snake said, 'WTF?' to reporters before cosying up to a nice plump female boa constrictor.
Pastor Vivian Viper is 69.
