A series of strange, yet brutally horrifying, stabbings has struck the idyllic Norfolk town of Wisbech! The murders have been recorded on the steps of Peckover house, in the shadow of the Clarkson Memorial, in the social clubs clock tower and at the local cemetery. The police were relieved by the last location as it meant they didn’t have to carry the body too far.
Each victim has been stabbed with a different implement and a number of different times. Leading police to speculate that the murderer has “possibly shopped at Wilkinsons” at some point.
The victims have been found in a variety of poses with one cadaver finding itself in the unfortunate situation of having his finger shoved up his nose.
Local resident and convicted bear baiter, Gertie Hartshorne, said:
"I don’ts believes its! Its a murders alls rights. This nevers useds tos happens befores alls theses immigrants yous knows? Why’s I votes Brexits I dids."
Miss Hartshorne then asked us to hold a potato masher that looked like it had dried blood on it.
No animals were harmed in the writing of this piece