"Hotter than Hell:" Global Warming threatens Satan's High Temperature Leadership

Funny story written by Ralph E. Shaffer

Monday, 15 January 2018

East Hades, Nether World. Exclusive to Spoof News. Official temperature reports for last year indicate an astonishing trend that, if it continues, would result in Death Valley, CA, having a higher temperature on its hottest days than has ever been recorded in Hell

Earth's average annual temperature is now increasing at the rate of 1.3 degrees Fahrenheit each year, but at Furnace Creek in the deepest part of Death Valley the annual rate of increase is 1.95 degrees. The highest temperature ever recorded at Furnace Creek was 134 degrees. Should the current increase remain constant over the next 40 years, visitors to Death Valley will not only be able to fry an egg on any convenient pavement. They will also be able to boil water without a fire, as the highest temperature would exceed 212 degrees.

While there are no official temperature readings reported from Hell, the assumption is that while it's really hot there, it must be bearable so that life, after death, is possible there or the whole purpose of Hell would be lost.

When told that an American weather station may take first place among the hottest places anywhere, President Donald Trump tweeted: "We're making America First, America Great Again, in everything." He dismissed global warming as the cause of the temperature increase, claiming that it's simply the result of the economy heating up.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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