Written by Backandtotheleft

Wednesday, 3 January 2018

Please note that we at Back and to the Left news hate writing about the Tory party. As we type about them our fingers bleed and we can hear the scratching of demons pushing though the thin veil of reality that surrounds our office. We'll get back to writing about football soon.

The walking volcanic thunder cunt that is Jeremy Hunt has apologised after all non urgent operations on the NHS were cancelled until "some fucking time". Granite faced wench Teresa May joined in with Hunt by saying that the NHS was "not in a crisis".

Despite now several hospitals admitting they had run out of corridor space to put patients.

If Mr Hunt is sorry about the crisis (we doubt he is) here is a list of things we're sorry about:

•We're sorry your mum didn't have a abortion

•We're sorry you lived to adulthood

•We're sorry you shit housed your way into the Health Secretary job despite giving zero fucks about anything health care related

• We're sorry Jo Cox got shot yet you still roam the face of the earth like a walking herpes virus

• We're sorry the breaks in your car haven't failed yet

Mr Hunt is seemingly not only trying to win the award for "most hated politician ever" but also one for "worst human being alive". Seeing him talk about the NHS is like watching a naughty child in a suit lie about who broke the kitchen window with a football. Except it's not a child it's a giant fuck stick in a suit and he's straight up fucking around with the health care futures of an entire country.

Hunt is a disgustingly vile worm whose only saving grace is that Michael Gove is fucking worse. In an ideal future these poor excuses for humanity will be shipped off world to an ocean planet and fed to the giant wildlife.

Instead idiots keep voting them back in

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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