George Osborne and David Cameron in Kavos before Davos!

Written by BrunetteGirl xxx

Thursday, 19 January 2017

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Welcome to Kavos Dave and George!

George Osborne, ex-chancellor, and David Cameron, ex-prime minister, were on their way to give speeches at Switzerland's annual World Economic Forum when a mysterious mix-up meant their plane ended up landing in Greece with a chauffeur driven ride escorting them to the seaside village of Kavos, rather than where they were meant to be, amongst the Swiss Alps in Davos. The day started off calmly in business class as they toasted flutes of champagne to a profitable speech ahead of them where they are reported to be commanding fees in the five figures, a fee which Cameron was overheard saying "we deserve it" to which Osborne smirked back "absolutely". Panic stations were in the air as they noticed through the plane window there didn't seem to be any icy mountains which they found rather odd. Their vehicle finally pulled up hours later at the sea-front amongst the sun, sand and tanked-up Brits running along the shore going "oi-oi" to them both as they sat there in their ties and smart suits.

It is understood that a puzzled Osborne, who still thought he'd arrived in Switzerland, was said to have asked the chauffeur "Excuse me i do not think this is the right destination. We are supposed to be where the mountains and the snow are". The chauffeur explained he had been given instructions to drive them to Kavos. "But we are supposed to be in DAVOS" an exasperated David Cameron was said to have snapped as he observed a sun-burnt Brit with a fat belly and a bong wobble past him. After a tense and expletive-filled phone call was made back home, it turned out wrong instructions had been issued. The excuse was that someone was hard of hearing however speculation is rife that someone in Teresa May's camp diverted the plane on purpose to keep them away from apparently interfering or upstaging the prime minister on the most important day of the economic event.

Luckily their speeches were able to be postponed and arranged for the following day but they wouldn't be able to fly until early the next morning meaning they'd have to spend the whole night in Kavos. Cameron, always known for being very proud and dignified, was described by an onlooker as suddenly grabbing a shaking and terrified Osborne and addressing him in a majestic and commanding voice so everyone could hear "come on my great friend we may as well see what the fuss is all about before we fly back to where we really belong in the lap of luxury". Cameron gave an embarrassed laugh as everyone watched.

The pair made their way into the strip much to the amusement of the tourists who heard them laughing like a pair of naughty schoolboys and talking in their plum accents as they sat at a sticky run-down bar grimacing at the shots they were handed. Osborne was said to have given the snottiest look as he was handed his free 'Party Hard' t-shirt. The greek locals were understood to have taken a shine to them, especially their poshness, and wanted them to spend as much money as possible. They ended up persuading the pair to go on a booze cruise. The pair were accused of making a spectacle of themselves as they drunkenly attempted to use their ski poles for the Swiss Alps as snorkels when they dived into the sea.

The biggest shock of all was that the following morning, speculation was that a random guy who had made friends with the politicians on the cruise ended up passed out in their room only for a mortified George Osborne to find out the morning after that this man was one of the 20 clients from HSBC that was due to listen to his speech in Davos. To make matters worse, Osborne and the client are said to have been laughing stocks as they finally arrived at the conference in Davos with permanent tattoos on their foreheads of the HSBC logo after too many drinks at the 'get your tatts out' event in Kavos!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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