Friday, 14 July 2017

A planned statue of Margaret Thatcher will now be buried at the bottom of a mine in Sunderland, after it was deemed "too frightening" to be displayed in public.

The lifelike work - in iron, obviously - was originally intended to be installed as a permanent feature in Thatcher's home town of Grantham. However superstitious locals believed the metal woman would come alive and eat them, so they plotted to burn her.

The artist, Geoffetta Rodding, was said to be disappointed with the outcome, saying that her work was one of her best. Famously she won the 2011 Turps Prize with a 100m high model of a cucumber, entitled "Crikey! That's a big one." She has reluctantly agreed to have her latest work buried forever.

The statue has one unusual feature which may have helped scare people - it rotates constantly. The lady is for turning after all, and will now turn forever while lying down in its coal lined grave like a kebab shop spit.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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