Trump Labor Sec. Wants To Bring Back Child Labor

Funny story written by Keith Shirey

Friday, 9 December 2016

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Donald Trump's pick for Secretary of Labor is Andrew Puzdder, whose job it is to protect the welfare of workers. He is quoted as saying that his business career as executive of the company that operates Hardee's and Carl's Jr., has been one of fighting against working people. He is a critic of minimum wage hikes safety regulations for workers.

He is often quoted as saying that the problem with labor unions is that they created the American middle class to the detriment corporations and CEO's.

Mr. Puzddler has criticized sick leave policies and has said, "Sure, sick workers can infect customers but businesses aren't there to protect public health, business exist to make profits."

The food tycoon has been condemned for paying poverty level wages for people with titles at the franchises. "People love the prestige of titles like 'manager,' 'assistant manager,' 'senior associate,' and so on. We give them titles instead of decent pay. Our people love that."

Mr. Puzdder (nicknamed, "Putz") made news yesterday by advocating repeal of child labor laws and state-mandated attendance in schools. "Millions of kids hate school and don't learn anything. In the good old days they worked in the coalmines and factories as early as age nine."

"Those kids worked as much as fourteen hours a day for not much money. But those children were tough and had a lot of pride. Today, we make them go to school and don't let them work when they are children. That's just wrong!," said the fast food king.

"As Labor Secretary, I'm going to work for the repeal of child labor law protections, Andrew "Putz" Puzdder," promised.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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