Written by Dee Batable

Monday, 19 June 2017

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The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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image for George Osbourne, is he a "Woe-Man" scorned?

Former Tory Chancellor of the Exchequer George Osborne insisted that his recent series of Evening Standard editorial attacks on PM Theresa May, have absolutely nothing to do with him being sacked by her.

"I am just telling it as it is, he said, just as I forewarned of the complete and disastrous collapse of the UK on the day after voting for Brexit, - I deal in reality, not retribution".

"I would like everyone to know that I am not a bitter man and that the demise of my position was really a blessing in disguise".

"I love rubbing shoulders with the Proletariat in real-life modern Britain, and I don't begrudge losing ANY of the trappings that came with my former position".

"Upon reflection, I also feel that during my time in office, I may have been blinkered and a tad harsh with my criticisms of Jeremy and John whilst heaping only praise onto David and Theresa".

"Therefore, my vitriolic comments have little or nothing to do with spite or revenge, I am in fact just trying to rebalance my Political karma".

If rebranding our newspaper as The Evening Star is what it takes to expedite forgiveness,then if either Jeremy or John would like to give me a 'bell' I'm here to help.

A Downing street spokesman commented "As Mr Osborne didn't hack it as chancellor we'll wait to see if he hacks it as a HACK"!

Whist another former colleague just said he's a twat.

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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