Written by Herrdoktorfox

Wednesday, 10 August 2016


The story you are trying to access may cause offense, may be in poor taste, or may contain subject matter of a graphic nature. This story was written as a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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"I swear it just winked at me!"

With the onset of the 2016 Rio Olympics BBC Executives had been concerned about the overall drop in viewing figures compared to those of the London Olympics, at the last estimate a frightening 32%.

Seemingly, interest in the Rio games had been far from encouraging to say the least, with more and more coach potatoes surfing the airwaves for more graphic sex and less demanding entertainment.

In order to justify their inflated salaries and continued total waste of taxpayers' money by way of sending 455 reporters-all expenses paid-to Sunny Rio-many fat cats had been fearful that they might end up getting the chop.

But seemingly, at the eleventh hour salvation has arrived by way of one, Helen Skelton, a little known ex-children's TV presenter and quality piece of eye candy currently dribbling her way through numerous boring interviews with GB athletes.

Having decided to put on one of her shortest dresses-primarily to 'beat the heat'-and seemingly gone 'commando' Ms Skelton has caught the eye of every up skirt pervert across the UK, most of who are beating something else!

The endless, lingering camera shots of her long legs and constant seat shuffling, basic instinct style, has raised quite a few temperatures with male viewers along with other parts of their anatomy. Latest viewing figures suggest a marked increase when Ms Skelton is on air, especially if any breast is in the offing.

Not being slow to spot this somewhat miraculous recovery BBC executives have offered Ms Skelton a bonus is she keeps raising her hemline daily plus a three year, six figure salary if she promises a lingering beaver shot whilst live on air!

Meanwhile, other female reporters have not been slow in lodging their complaints to the BBC regarding what is seen as 'preferential treatment'. Therefore Beth Tweddle, Hazel Irvine, Gabby Logan and Rebecca Adlington have all offered to go both topless and knickerless during on air interviews providing they are each offered compatible lucrative deals from the BBC.

Fortunately, Clare Balding has declined any such action much to the delight of all BBC executives who fear a sudden drop in ratings if Clare exposes her gash on TV!

The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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Topics: TV, Olympics

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