Queen Spots Rafael Nadal

Written by K.C. Bell

Thursday, 21 April 2016


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While flipping through the April issue of GQ, (Gentleman's Quarterly) Queen Elizabeth reportedly came to a screeching stop and was heard to whistle, "Hail Mary! Who's the suit?" Then added, "He looks familiar. But he's wearing clothes. Strange, I don't ever recall viewing this particular individual in the nude. Could he be one of my naughty grandsons?"

Her lady in waiting glanced at the striking photograph of the Tommy Hilfiger advertisement on page 39, and agreed, with a wistful sigh of admiration, that the fellow in question was definitely in the: Hail Mary; above Number 10; hunk of meat category, may not have been viewed nude by the Queen and definitely not one of her naughty grandsons. However, she may remember him with a bandana tied around his forehead.

She insisted she never entertained nude men wearing bandanas tied around their foreheads.

True, but the magazine photograph was of the usually bandana wearing tennis player Rafael Nadal, not to be confused with the Canadian born Rafael Cruz, who is running for the President of the United States.

The Queen was heard to remark believing the Canadian's name was Ted Cruz.

She was told that Mr. Cruz was dropping baggage and calling himself 'Ted' but his real name was Rafael.

"Is Mr. Nadal calling himself Ted Nadal?"

"No. Rafa Nadal."

After a long, "Humph!" she suggested that they have Mr. Nadal over for high tea, adding that he should be due for some sort of honor of some kind or another or anything, and if he can handle a tennis racket with such mastery on the tennis court and obviously conquered wearing a suit in 'Hail Mary' style in the Hilfiger advertisement, he'll manage a royal teacup.

The Queen reportedly inquired when Prince Philip was scheduled to be launched into space for a royal visit with the International Space Station. She explained that while President Obama was an old flame, the president was indeed old and over fifty and she preferred younger lads.

Reminded she'd be ninety in April, she replied, "Smart women don't get old. They get bold."

Happy Birthday!

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The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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