Jesus Is A Sellout, Says God

Funny story written by Nick Hobbs

Saturday, 15 August 2015

image for Jesus Is A Sellout, Says God
Jesus, yesterday. Appearing on a lamb.

God, The Almighty, sensationally slammed his own son yesterday, labelling him a 'sellout'.

The omnipotent Supreme Being was talking at the 'Save The Church Bell' committee meeting in Farnborough, when he made the shock statement.

Asked if Jesus would be helping with the planned local fund-raising drive, God told stunned onlookers that his own son and heir was most likely 'more interested in appearing on toast' that day, and would 'sell his own virgin mother' for a fourth page splash in the tabloids.

Probed further to clarify his statement by the local vicar, God simply snorted and asked the audience to name one thing Jesus had done since the resurrection, that didn't involve his image appearing somewhere.

After a long, awkward silence he branded Jesus a sellout.

The news comes hot on the heels of a reported potential rift between the two, that was sparked when Jesus failed to thank God at an Evangelical Alliance awards ceremony he attended, where he was receiving a lifetime achievement gong.

Jesus was unavailable for comment.

As usual.

The funny story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.

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